Fred….LOOK….she’s gotten her boobies!

First of all, if you can’t tell me what movie that line is from…we will have to break up. It is one of the all time classics from John Hughes.

Second, no I haven’t gotten my permanent implants. I have what is referred to as expanders in my chest. But, right now they are starting to resemble what I had at one point. Some have even gone as far to say that “you’re getting the lumps back in all the right places.”. The only purpose they serve is to make you feel like you have some breasts and to stretch the skin.

Ok,…so…. I have decided to NOT have chemo. I would like to try just the Tamoxifen. Of course, being me, there are road blocks.

After I had Maegan, I spiraled down in to a pretty dark post-partum depression. Before that I had been an absolute advocate of living life through “you get what you ask for”, and was dead set against chemical intervention to level it my moods. After I had Maegan, I couldn’t bounce back. I found myself paralyzed when it came to anything baby.

I wanted and needed to be a mom, so after seeing my PCP, he put me on Zoloft. In the years since then, it’s been tweeked, things added and taken away, but I am still on Zoloft.

The rub, you ask? You can’t take Zoloft and Tamoxifen together. OF COURSE. So, my meds have to be switched. The irritating part? My oncologist will not switch them. So, she tells me to find a psychiatrist. You know all if them book 6 to 8 weeks out.

I am just frustrated beyond all measure.



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