Did anyone get the license plate number of the semi that hit me?

Today was not fun.  I had the right sentinel nodes removed from the right.  The surgery was done through a small incision in the right armpit area.  The surgery itself was not so bad, but as I may have mentioned before, my drains are infected.  By the grace of God my surgeon, Dr. Hernandez removed the drains because they are so infected.  This is good, right?  Not exactly.  While I no longer have to fiddle around with the care of draining, cleaning and whatnot, the infection rages on.  It feels like someone is holding a torch to my sides at all times.  Seriously, hot poker type pain.  Add to that a gigantic ace bandage type thing around my chest, over the drain site and where my breasts used to reside.

Now, the wait for pathology reports begins, again.  As I told ya’ll in a previous post, the left sentinel nodes were cancer free.  All the breast tissue was removed to the chest wall, meaning, the initial cancer in the left is out, but there were two 1.1 cm cancers found in the right.  Which is why I had to have the right nodes taken out today.  Depending on the pathology of the right nodes, those results will determine the course of treatment.

When I spoke to Dr. Mendonca when the first round of pathology from the first surgery came back, I understood that no matter the pathology of the right sentinel nodes, I would have radiation.  I am hoping to be wrong, because what is the point of radiating non cancerous tissue?  However, if there is cancer present in the right nodes, chemotherapy will be the recommended treatment.  I have stated to 1000 people 1000 times that I am more scared of chemo than cancer.  Having watched how it ravaged my mothers body scared me enough to not want to have it.  Before you say anything, I know medicine has advances leaps and bounds in the (almost) 24 years since she has passed, but still.

The good news from today is that depending on the state of wounds, infections and what course of treatment, if any, Dr. Finkel (reconstructive surgeon) is going to start putting saline into my temporary implants on Monday. That is so exciting to me because after having breasts for so long, and then suddenly not, is a punch to my already low opinion of my body.

The funny tidbit of the day.  When they performed the surgery today, they had to inject a blue dye to identify all of the sentinel nodes.  That dye has to exit the body – right?  So, we get home, I go to the restroom, and my pee is BRIGHT blue.  I half panicky called Jim into the bathroom and wide-eyed pointed at the toilet.  He’s all – it’s ok, it’s normal, it’s all in your discharge paperwork, while kind of giggling at me.  I’m telling ya, the man is a keeper.  He has been an unfaultering pillar of support, love and understanding through this entire ordeal.

Lastly, please keep me in your prayers.  I need these right sentinel nodes to be cancer free.  The very last thing I want to do is put Maegan through me having chemo.  So please, pray, light a candle, ask Allah, go to temple, pray to a stick – I don’t care.  Please pray for me, or more so, my Maegan.

Love and light – Jen


One thought on “Did anyone get the license plate number of the semi that hit me?

  1. Hi Jen-
    You ARE in my prayers and Maegan is too. I think you need to focus on the fact that kids are a lot more resilient than most people give them credit for. She will probably end up being your hero through all of this.

    I lost my Dad at 17 to cancer. I watched him go through what your Mom went through (chemo and radiation). Yes, I was older than Maegan is now, but the lessons learned were invaluable. Granted, I would give anything in the world to have not learned those lessons at my Dad’s expense. I learned patience, humility and the ability to control the intense anger that consumed me. When he died, I was grateful that he no longer had to suffer, but I forsake God in my life. How could He think He needed my Dad more than I. I have overcome that as well.

    Interesting that I, like you, abhor organized religion. I was not raised in a strictly organized religion fashion, but I still don’t get the whole organized stuff.

    Anyway, know that I am thinking of you, Jim and Maegan (LOVE the way you chose to spell her name!!)

    I will keep track of you via this blog and write when I have anything remotely interesting to blither about. 😉


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