Well, simply put, it blows. After I was able to take off the bandages, I feel a little sorrow, but it was nowhere near the emotional meltdown I thought it would be.
Yes, the boobectomy has left my once perfect girls mangled looking. But, had no idea what to expect, so naturally, I expected the worst. The worst part are the JP drains. JP Drains are Jackson-Pratt drain. They are located on my side, 2 on the left, and 2 on the right. As part of the set things that must be done post operative. The draining, measuring and recording amount of fluid is by far the sexiest part.
I must have a book, that I can record the amount of fluid that I get out of it 3 – 5 times a day. The fluid is basically a mixture of blood and a bilirubin like liquid that, if NOT drain properly, would cause lymphaedema. I hear that is really painful and hard to get rid of.
I haven’t flipped out about the current state of my chest region. It’s gross and mangled looking, but, still really taped up. I see the reconstructive surgeon tomorrow, we’ll see how that goes. Meaning, I hope she takes the tape off, so I can have a full picture.
I have to say I almost feel less emotional now as opposed to the blubbering wreck I was before surgery. I am not sure if I feel indifferent, sad, mad, relieved, confused. I think it has a lot to do with not knowing the pathology of any of the tissue removed. I haven’t even talked to my breast surgeon since the morning of the surgery. It’s almost like I learned a lesson. After I had the biopsy, I was one of those pain in the ass patients who called every 30 minutes trying to get any kind of info. When I got the call, I was destroyed by the results. So, yeah, Dr. Hernandez can take his sweet old time… 🙂
I just want to know where we go from here. Do I need treatment? If so, what kind? Is it staged bad, and there are no treatment options? Will boobectomy and reconstruction be all that she wrote? YES, I want these answers, but I am not burning up the telephone lines to get it.
These last few days, I have been sleeping, watching movies, answering texts and Facebook messages, because I still kinda don’t want to talk to people. Not to be rude, because if you call me, I love ya for it, truly. But, I just don’t wanna. Sorry, soon I will feel up to it.
Lastly, I would like to sent a lot of love to Pink it Forward. I was directed to this group by my friend Wendy Walther. They sent me a very lovely and comfy set of pajamas. Jim had to force me to take them off to be washed. I am in your debt ladies!
Love and light – Jen