Day 5 post-op..

Well, simply put, it blows.  After I was able to take off the bandages, I feel a little sorrow, but it was nowhere near the emotional meltdown I thought it would be.

Yes, the boobectomy has left my once perfect girls mangled looking.  But, had no idea what to expect, so naturally, I expected the worst.  The worst part are the JP drains.  JP Drains are Jackson-Pratt drain.  They are located on my side, 2 on the left, and 2 on the right.  As part of the set things that must be done post operative.  The draining, measuring and recording amount of fluid is by far the sexiest part.

I must have a book, that I can record the amount of fluid that I get out of it 3 – 5 times a day.  The fluid is basically a mixture of blood and a bilirubin like liquid that, if NOT drain properly, would cause lymphaedema.  I hear that is really painful and hard to get rid of.

I haven’t flipped out about the current state of my chest region.  It’s gross and mangled looking, but, still really taped up.  I see the reconstructive surgeon tomorrow, we’ll see how that goes. Meaning, I hope she takes the tape off, so I can have a full picture.

I have to say I almost feel less emotional now as opposed to the blubbering wreck I was before surgery.  I am not sure if I feel indifferent, sad, mad, relieved, confused.  I think it has a lot to do with not knowing the pathology of any of the tissue removed.  I haven’t even talked to my breast surgeon since the morning of the surgery.  It’s almost like I learned a lesson.  After I had the biopsy, I was one of those pain in the ass patients who called every 30 minutes trying to get any kind of info.  When I got the call, I was destroyed by the results.  So, yeah, Dr. Hernandez can take his sweet old time… 🙂

I just want to know where we go from here.  Do I need treatment?  If so, what kind?  Is it staged bad, and there are no treatment options?  Will boobectomy and reconstruction be all that she wrote?  YES, I want these answers, but I am not burning up the telephone lines to get it.

These last few days, I have been sleeping, watching movies, answering texts and Facebook messages, because I still kinda don’t want to talk to people.  Not to be rude, because if you call me, I love ya for it, truly.  But, I just don’t wanna.  Sorry, soon I will feel up to it.

Lastly, I would like to sent a lot of love to Pink it Forward.  I was directed to this group by my friend Wendy Walther.  They sent me a very lovely and comfy set of pajamas.  Jim had to force me to take them off to be washed.  I am in your debt ladies!

Love and light – Jen

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